January 2006 - Posts

Crisp, Marte and you

The blockbuster seven-player trade between the Boston Red Sox and Cleveland Indians sure didn't feel like one by the time it was over with.  Blown physicals and a three-headed GM certainly do throw things off a bit.

When the smoke cleared, the Indians received Andy Marte, Guillermo Mota, Kelly Shoppach, a player to be named later and cash for Coco Crisp, David Riske and Josh Bard.  Combine it with the Cleveland-Philadelphia trade that brought Jason Michaels to the Tribe for Arthur Rhodes, and the Indians will have a much different look when entering the 2006 season.

Following some hand-wringing over this deal, I came to the conclusion that there is no conclusion to come to until we see what Marte does.  But if he's as good as people say he is, the Tribe may have patched a hole at a minimal cost for years to come.  After all, Marte has been considered the top third base prospect since the Mets' David Wright jumped to the majors.

If Marte meets or beats the hype, watch out -- Aaron Boone's dismal first half played a big part in the Indians' disappointing first half, and maybe kept the Indians from passing the White Sox in the second half.  Marte's mashed the ball at every minor league level, and he'll only be 22 this year.  Of course, there is the question that if he were such a highly regarded prospect, how come he's been already traded twice this offseason?  Then again, the fact that he's been traded for proven major leaguers means something.

Otherwise, here's what we know from the players who have had more than a cup of coffee at the major-league level:

*Michaels is a downgrade from Crisp, if only because he hasn't played a full season yet.  His rate stats are quality, showing decent patience while hitting for a satisfactory average, and would look good hitting second behind Grady Sizemore, but there's the question of him being able to maintain it throughout the whole season.  Michaels is definitely a worse left fielder, and has a reputation of a troublemaker since he punched a cop last season, but the Sox did just fine with some less-than-savory characters last season.

*For an Indians bullpen that led the entire league in ERA in 2005, it sure is experiencing a whole lot of turnover.  Bob Howry, Rhodes and Riske are gone, and while Cleveland still has an impressive array of arms, those are three guys that have experienced a lot of success against the Sox over their careers.  If Mota's recent struggles are any indication, he won't outperform any of the three the Tribe gave up.

*Bard vs. Shoppach is a wash.  Whichever one they had wouldn't see much playing time anyway, with All-Star Victor Martinez behind the plate.

Mark Shapiro is doing an impressive job building that Cleveland ballclub, and while many felt Kenny Williams was robbed of the Executive of the Year Award, Shapiro can make an equal claim on the prize considering the Indians had their equivalent of the White Flag Trade several years ago.  He's built the team up from rubble to be just as structurally and fiscally sound as the White Sox, with a little less starting pitching and a little more pop in the lineup.

Nothing's going to top Red Sox-Yankees when it comes to rivalries grabbing headlines, but Cleveland-Chicago bears watching.  Last year, the Sox managed to take 14 of 19 games from the Indians while outscoring them by a total of five runs.  The Indians owned the blowouts, while nine of the Sox's victories over Cleveland were decided by one run. 

It'll be hard to duplicate the tension experienced in 2005, but both teams are better on paper -- why can't the games be better as well?

Sun-Times has a Cowley

Joe Cowley, White Sox beat writer for the Daily Southtown and no relation to the former White Sox pitcher of the same name, has jumped on board of the Chicago Sun-Times ship, according to a journalism message board

He'll replace Doug Padilla, who heads for work out West.

This is a big blow for the Southtown and a coup for the Sun-Times, who just acquired the best Sox beat writer around.  Despite working for a paper less than half the size of the Daily Herald and not even one-tenth the size of the Tribune, Cowley, a cancer survivor, consistently scooped the big boys and was the most reliable source for breaking Sox news over the past few years.

This won't help the Tribune either, which has a generally underwhelming sports section for what is Chicago's paper of record.  Mark Gonzalez didn't do much for me during his first year on the job, and Cowley's growing presence will hopefully make him work harder.

As much as I liked what the Southtown was doing with their Sox coverage, their somewhat primitive Internet presence made me check Cowley's reports less often.  That won't be the case now.  Cowley will be a treat for his expanding audience -- he earns his salary on his notebooks alone.

Big Frank dunk tank

Talk about your self-fulfilling prophecy.  A day after talking about how Paul Konerko can do with words what Frank Thomas never could, the Big Hurt goes and airs his grievances on his way to Oakland.   

And the Chicago media can’t get enough of it.

Take your pick from the large number of scribes who are looking down their noses at Big Frank:
And there are probably a few more I’m missing.

Let’s get this out of the way.  Yes, Frank was dead wrong to even mention Jim Thome’s name.  It’s never a good idea to call out another player by name first of all, plus Frank doesn’t have a great argument going for him when it comes to current worth.  There are simply too many health problems to overlook.  

If he stopped at “They were probably looking for a big left-handed bat,” he would’ve been correct.  Everything else he said was questionable at best, and petty at worst, and overall it’s another case where he needs to put his foot in his mouth.

Of course, the Chicago media can’t let Thomas’ own words tarnish his reputation – they have to speculate about his worth to the team performance-wise as well, using the ever tricky and unreliable concept of “chemistry” and his supposed adverse effect on it as the gospel truth.

Here’s what they’re missing – if Frank Thomas didn’t play at all last year, the Sox probably would not have made it to the playoffs to begin with, much less win the World Series.  Between the Big Hurt’s DL stints, the team went 29-14 (.674 winning percentage) – outside of them, the Sox went 70-49 (.588).  

Of course, the Chicago media prefaced Thomas’ May return saying he would pose chemistry problems, that he would disrupt the lineups, that he would demand playing time when there wasn’t enough to go around.  

Not that they had anything to go on – Frank said he just wanted to be part of the team, that he’s never been around an atmosphere like that, that he just wanted to help however he could.  But since Frank was saying it, nobody believed it.

But that never happened.  Frank didn’t sink the team; instead, he sparked it to the best offensive stretch it had all season.  The guy he was “stealing” at-bats from, Carl Everett, never hit better than when Thomas was on the team, because he didn’t have to play every day against pitchers who could eat him alive.  Frank wasn’t demanding at-bats – Ozzie gave them to him, and given how hard Frank hit the ball, he deserved every one of them.

That 29-14 record included two five-game winning streaks and one eight-game winning streak.  Thomas never disrupted any momentum – he added to it.  When he played his first game of the season, the Sox held a four-game lead in the AL Central.  By the time he played his last game, they owned an 11-game lead.  And by the way they nearly collapsed in September, they needed every game Frank gave them.

Contrary to popular belief, the Sox didn’t win that many games because Frank Thomas smiled more (even though he does have a nice one).  They won that many games because he hit the bejeezus out of the ball when he made contact, the other players contributed, and his team had a fully functioning and healthy pitching staff.  

When Ozzie Guillen is defending Frank -- and he has been -- you know that the media’s perception of his worth to the team is off.  But that won’t stop them from throwing stones.

The underlying point of what Thomas said was not about Thome being a lesser ballplayer – it was about Thomas wanting to play his entire career in Chicago, and if that couldn’t happen, he at least wanted Kenny Williams to be more straightforward with him about it.  He at least deserved a physical from the team so he could’ve proved his worth to other teams earlier in the offseason.

Frank just can’t win, even when he’s saying the right things, even when he’s declaring his wishes to play in Chicago for his whole career.  Only Frank could be beaten up for something players are automatically lauded for.

And it will most likely affect his Hall of Fame career, even though media-friendliness has lead those writers so far astray in the past.  Kirby Puckett had an easy time getting in because he was a tubby ball of joy, except his private life was marred with domestic abuse incidents and illegitimate children.  Sammy Sosa was glad to bring out the dog-and-pony show to any reporter who would watch it – now he just looks like a gigantic phony who is widely suspected of juicing.

As far as we know, Frank hasn’t committed any crimes, he hasn’t been a detriment to any team he’s played for, and he hasn’t cheated – he just hasn’t said the right things many times in his career.  And I’m willing to wager that reporters have been offended far more often to his teammates. 

He should be remembered for being the greatest offensive force in White Sox history and the dominant right-handed hitter of the 1990s.  His comments were unfortunate, and he should regret them, but they shouldn’t define him.  Too often he tried to just let his bat do the talking, and the media wouldn’t let him.

Orator Paulie

Paul Konerko is no Frank Thomas – he’s a lesser hitter, slower on the basepaths, and for most of his career was nearly as bad with the glove.  However, there’s one area in which Paulie has the Big Hurt beat – words.

In short, Paulie is a natural with them; Frank is not.

During most of his time in Chicago, Frank got murdered in the press for saying things that seemed more selfish than Thomas probably intended.  Then, when Frank stopped talking, the media hammered him for being a shut-in.  Then, when Frank started saying the right things, many pundits called it a façade.  

Paulie doesn’t have that problem.  Paulie can’t lose.  Everything Paulie says, you couldn’t say it better.

While Doug Mientkiewicz and the Boston Red Sox were still fighting over possession of the 2004 World Series ball, Konerko gave it to Jerry Reinsdorf and made him cry.  

When White Sox players were saying they had no ties to 1917, Konerko knew differently.  He summed up the entire South Side situation in a few sentences after winning the World Series:

“Players come and go, rosters change from year to year, but for the fans who have been with this team forever and the people who work for the organization, this means so much… Eighty-eight years is a long time and you're playing with that weight on your shoulders.”

You don’t have to look further than the last 24 hours for an example, as Paulie said he was reluctant to become the team’s captain, an idea Ozzie floated by him.

He said, ''I'm not saying I wouldn't do it, but at this point, I would have to sit down and talk about it because on our team, everybody is on the same page. Everybody can get on everybody else, everybody can say anything they want to anybody on the team. And I think it's best like that.''

That’s about right.  Last season, the Sox were a below-average offensive bunch, but they won 99 games because everybody pitched in.  Paulie was head-and-shoulders above the rest of the team as far as production was concerned, but he didn’t do it by himself.

Given that the Sox will pay him $60 million over the next five years, that’s enough to distinguish Konerko from the rest of the team.  

And that’s also enough pressure on Konerko, who is already too hard on himself.  Look at what Derek Jeter has had to endure since becoming the Yankee captain in 2003.  The “C” can giveth (Jason Varitek’s reputation boosted his worth a few million dollars), but it can also taketh away.  And we saw how Konerko beat himself up for his dismal 2003, so let’s focus on repeating the good history (October 26, 2005) and good history only.

Speaking of saying nice things, Kenny Williams had this to say about the 2006 Sox appearing better than the 2005 team on paper to Scott Gregor of the Daily Herald:

“I think if I said this year’s team is better than the one that won the World Series, it would be a slap in the face to the team that went out and did something no Chicago team has done in 88 years. I don’t think a comparison needs to be made.”

A comparison doesn’t need to be made because when you consider everything, there is no comparison.  The 2006 White Sox could turn into the 1998 or 1927 Yankees and there’d still be no beating 2005.  

After 88 years of underachieving, Sox fans saw a team that nobody thought could do it actually do it.  It was such a stark reversal of fortune that nobody was emotionally prepared for it.  There’s simply no equivalent for that kind of euphoric disbelief.

Is the team better than 2006 on paper?  Probably.  In our hearts?  Never.  But at least we’ll be a lot happier following them from now on.

Frank packs bags, Bags talks frank

If all the parallels between the careers of Frank Thomas and Jeff Bagwell weren’t strange enough, it seems as though their tenures with their original teams are coming to a similarly rocky close.

As noted in the previous entry, Thomas felt slighted by the Sox organization that didn’t offer him a contract after the season ended and before the Sox’s window to bargain with him closed.  Fortunately, Thomas seems to have the less hairy of situations with the only employer he had ever known, if this article by Jose De Jesus Ortiz of the Houston Chronicle is any indication.

To sum up the situation: Bagwell stands to make $17 million this season.  He also has a shoulder that’s not in one piece.  Therefore, the Astros would rather Bagwell not pay and let the insurance company pay him his multi-millions.  

You can’t blame either side – Bagwell, like Thomas, is not a lock for the Hall of Fame, and he still has something to prove.  Unlike Thomas, he doesn’t have a World Series ring yet, so he’s still after that, too.  Plus, he doesn’t owe the team anything after delaying his payday in order to help the Astros’ payroll in the mid-1990s.

Then again, last time we all saw Bagwell, he was horrendously overmatched in the batter’s box.  He collected one hit in eight at-bats (and that only hit came when Bobby Jenks threw him a belt-high fastball), and looked painful swinging the bat.  It’s hard to tell if he’ll ever get better, and that’s a lot of money to sink into somebody who might not be able to play.  The Astros need to file an insurance claim by January 31 (happy birthday, Dad!), so they’re not in a position to wait until Spring Training.

These quotes sum up the two sides’ positions:

Houston GM Tim Purpura:  "From a technical point of view right now, (Bagwell) is a disabled player. He can't play professional baseball — certainly not in the National League at this point."

Bagwell: "To me more than anything else, it's just amazing how bad they don't want me to play.  “Anything else said — it's just not the truth. They just want to collect their money. It's an awkward situation."

Yikes.  Makes the Thomas-Sox breakup seem downright smooth.

Since this situation appears utterly irreparable, let’s put this on the Thomas-Bagwell Board!  Here's where it stands:

  1. They were both born on May 27, 1968.
  2. They are both first basemen.
  3. They both have names that are 11 letters long.
  4. They both played their first full seasons in 1991.
  5. They both won MVPs in 1994
  6. They both lead their franchises in career homers and RBI.
  7. Thomas hit 448 homers for the Sox; Bagwell has hit 449 for the Astros
  8. Both have over 400 doubles, 1,400 walks and 2,000 hits.
  9. They both reached their first World Series in 2005.
  10. They both were injured when it happened.
  11. Since 1991, both their teams have had winning percentages of .530
  12. BOTH EXPERIENCED UGLY FALLOUTS WITH THEIR THEN-ONLY TEAMS.

Westward Hurt

Frank Thomas, the most menacing hitter in White Sox history, the face of the organization, two-time MVP and a World Series champion, has moved on to the Oakland A’s, where he signed an incentive-laden one-year deal for a team that could use a proven masher.

I’ll sum up my feelings more comprehensively when I roll out the White Sox eulogies later next month, but I’m not going to be torn up about Frank in Oakland.  In fact, I hope he hits the cover off the ball, gets closer to 500 homers and reasserts himself as a viable full-time DH to anybody who can play him.

Then again, perhaps I feel fine about this because I don’t see him making much of an impact in Oakland.

The Sox were so frightened by his ankle injuries that they didn’t even offer him a measly contract.  Neither did 14 other AL teams, including the Twins, who haven’t had a player hit 30 homers for them since 1987. 

I’m not a doctor, nor will I play one on this blog, but I imagine healthy ankles are crucial for a guy who has nearly all of his 270 pounds resting on top of them.  That has to be reason No. 1 why he’s only played 108 games in the last two years.

Frank may be more motivated than any other player to prove his detractors wrong, so it’s not going to be an issue of working hard enough.

It would be one thing if the Sox had an Albert Pujols- or Miguel Cabrera-type waiting in the wings, but the Sox have replaced the injury-prone Thomas with the suddenly injury-prone Jim Thome.  While Thome is more than two years younger and a better bet to rebound, many people including Thomas himself feel that the two sluggers are six of one, half-dozen of another when it comes to health issues.

It’s just going to be hard for Thomas to scratch out 80 games without needing multiple DL stints.  He’ll turn 38 in May, he’s not going to be ready to go in April despite an entire offseason to prepare, and regular movements could hurt him, whether it’s running or taking big swings.

At least Thomas is going to be in a situation that’s right for him.  When he gets back, he’ll see plenty of at-bats if he’s healthy, but there’s no pressure to play him every day if his body can’t handle it.  They’re stocked with corner outfield types who can hit a little, so Frank can hit when he wants to, rest when he needs to, and get ready for maybe one last hurrah in 2007.

I hope he’ll be ready to go in late May when the A’s visit Chicago – he still deserves standing ovations from Sox fans because he missed out on far too many of them.  And it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to have a couple losses at his hands.  It’d shut the mouths of the media who criticized him his whole career, and it’s not like we can beat Oakland anyway.

The farm dries up

It’s hard times for the minor-league farm system, which has been blasted on one site as one of the least fertile in baseball -- and looking at the Top 10 list on Baseball America’s site, I can’t say I blame the author.

The top two on our good friend Phil Rogers’ list – Bobby Jenks and Brian Anderson, if you didn’t click the link – aren’t so much luxuries as they are necessities, and they aren’t what you would consider locks.  Jenks has a history of arm and head problems, and Anderson doesn’t seem to control the plate very well.

The deficit of talent isn’t the fault of Sox scouting – it’s the fault of Kenny Williams.  At the end of last season, Jenks and Anderson probably would have been 1-2, but right behind him would’ve been Chris Young, Gio Gonzalez and Daniel Haigwood in some order, and all of them probably would have been ready to make major-league contributions by 2007.

Instead, Rogers has ranked Ryan Sweeney (a 20-year-old outfielder who shows no signs of power), Josh Fields (a third baseman who looks like Joe Borchard redux), and Jerry Owens (who might end up being Scott Podsednik if he’s lucky) as the third-, fourth- and fifth-best prospects in the Sox system.  Not very encouraging.

Meanwhile, Young is a top prospect in an absolutely stacked Diamondbacks system, and BA ranked Gonzalez and Haigwood No. 2 and No. 6 in the Phillies’ top 10 list.

Unlike previous years, when he shipped off well-regarded talent for unnecessary pieces like Todd Ritchie, Carl Everett and the corpse of Robert Alomar, at least Williams used the chips for players he needed.  Gonzalez, Haigwood and Aaron Rowand brought the Sox the lefty power bat they needed in Jim Thome, and Young, El Duque and Luis Vizcaino brought the team Javier Vazquez.

It’s obvious that Kenny Williams doesn’t have much regard for prospects, and given the number of busts the system has produced in the last 10-15 years, from Scott Ruffcorn to Mario Valdez, I don’t blame him.  What I did blame him for was throwing prospects away for the sake of shaking things up instead of having definite and necessary targets, with Josh Fogg, Royce Ring and Gary Majewski as examples.

As Williams’ focus has sharpened, so has his use of trading prospects.  The system isn’t completely dry, as the wonderfully named Lance Broadway and Ray Liotta are making strides as lefty starters, and Robert Valido is a promising shortstop at A-ball who might be the team’s best basestealer at any level.

Fortunately, young players aren’t really what the Sox need, especially since they actually have a chance of repeating as champions, as slim as that is.  And while Gonzalez, Haigwood and Young may have been a big part of the team’s plans in 2007 or 2008, their departures have made the 2006 Sox team considerably stronger.  Now that the Sox have a title under their belt, I’m markedly less concerned about the team mortgaging a future that may never come.

R.I.P. Carlos Martinez

Carlos Martinez, who played a role in one of the reasons why it was tough being a Jose Canseco fan, died today at age 40 of undetermined causes.  

Martinez was a lanky, light-hitting corner infielder who played with the Sox from 1988-90.  He manned third base until Robin Ventura came up to the big-league level, when he switched to first.  A year later, Frank Thomas was ready to assume that position, and Martinez was granted free agency.  He hit .300 in 109 games in 1989, but his .224 average in 1990 made him quite replaceable.

His brief tenure with the White Sox ended up being somewhat circular – he came to Chicago when the Sox traded the popular Ron Kittle to the Yankees, and left when Thomas and Ventura started to become the two of the most popular players in White Sox history.  Martinez, meanwhile, faded into retirement due in large part to a rash of injuries.

That’s not to say Martinez doesn’t have a legacy of his own.  He’s in fact the answer to the baseball trivia question, “Who hit the flyball that bounced off Canseco’s head and over the fence for a homer in 1993?”  That was Martinez, as a member of the Cleveland Indians.

He’ll be joining his White Sox teammate of all his three seasons Ivan Calderon, who also died way too early (age 41) in 2003, when he was shot at a store in Puerto Rico.  

The late-80s Sox were the group I grew up watching, and whose cards I first collected, but unfortunately for them, they preceded one of the most successful runs in Sox history, so they’re easy to forget.  Let’s hope they don’t have to keep dying to spark our memories.

All aboard! (Bandwagon edition)

For those who enjoyed getting great seats on gameday and stretching feet out across the row of seats or bleachers in front of them, 2006 won’t be a happy new year.

The White Sox announced that they’ve sold nearly all their season tickets – more than 20,000 of them, which is nearly double what they pulled in last season.

For the future of the franchise, for its reputation around the league and around the city, for the people that run it and play for it, it’s great news.  And for a guy like me who will be lucky to see one game at the Cell this summer due to living 816 miles away from it, it really doesn’t matter much.

But I’d be lying if I didn’t say it wasn’t at least a little bittersweet.  While more fans indicates that 1) the team is playing well, 2) there’s a kick-ass promotion going on, or 3) both, it also makes going to the ballpark a little less fun.

Back in the day (all the way back to early ‘00s), we could pack the car with a combination of any or all of my dad, mom, brother and some friends, exit the Stevenson at California and take 35th Street all the way up with zero hassle, get half-priced tickets for the lower deck on Monday or Tuesday, enjoy a game, have plenty of room walking down the ramp on the way out and marginal trouble getting out of the parking lot.  

And when they did pack the house, it was usually filled with people who had been paying attention and knew it was a big series against the Twins, or that the Sox just got done whooping some big-ticket teams on the road, and you could feel the excitement.  

(It was usually these situations in which the Sox did a great job keeping demand down by falling flat on their faces.  They normally helped reinforce the reasoning of those who never felt any incentive to make a trip to Comiskey in the first place.)

It will definitely be a different crowd at Comiskey in 2006.  More enfranchised Sox fans, more legitimate new fans, and a lot more hangers-on.  And at least for one year, it will feel a lot more like Yankee Stadium than Kauffman Stadium, where I was able to park across the street from the park and get box seats for $10 from scalpers (if you can call them that) on the day of the game.

It will be a joy to not have to hear the recycled attendance jabs, the one about the fans that showed up dressed as blue seats, and the notion that people like the Ligues could get that close to the playing field.  But I never felt incentive to defend the low turnout as much as I felt the urge to take advantage of it.

Fans who enjoyed the space instead of complaining about it may feel shorted, but there’s no need to complain as long as the new blood can come close to replicated the much-discussed playoff vibe.  Commentators who witnessed the Red Sox’s 2004 run in person were audibly blown away by the level of excitement in Comiskey last year.  To summon James Lipton, the South Side declared, “I am alive, I am here, I am NOW.”

I’ll take wins over “great seats still available” any day of the week, but I’m hoping that surge of ticket-buyers are the Sox fans who have felt burned, or the fans from the suburbs who will be making the trip more often.  

Whoever it is or whatever the reason, it’s better than the backwards-facers, the cell-phone chatterers, the pink hat-wearers and the yuppies who can’t heckle worth a damn but reward themselves with high-fives nevertheless.  

I may be asking for too much, but if we learned anything from October 26, 2005, it’s that anything is possible.

All aboard! (Roster edition)

The cold war between the White Sox front office and Scott Boras came to the cold-war equivalent of a cease-fire today when Joe Crede signed one-year, $2.675 million contract.  While the tension will likely resume, this closes the book on the White Sox payroll for 2006. 

It's an incredible pay raise for Crede, who earned $400,000 last year; in other words, he received a salary increase of 668 percent.  If only the rest of us were so lucky.

Of course, Crede can provide better fortune for the rest of us by doing what he did in September and the playoffs:

September:  .379 / .419 / .759
October:   .289 / .319 / .622

If he can replicate that kind of performance at least some of the time, that's a valuable bat that the Sox aren't exactly counting on.  Drawing up a likely lineup card, it appears that Crede would be hitting no higher than 6th.  And if Ozzie Guillen rewards Tadahito Iguchi for being his MVP and shifts Juan Uribe to the No. 2 hole, Crede would be batting either seventh or eighth, with Brian Anderson bringing up the rear.

His bat seemed to be a tad quicker -- or his swing shorter, same thing -- and his pitch recognition sharper.  Instead of popping pitches up, he was driving them.  And he was hitting them when it counted.  If you had to pick the top 10 biggest hits of the season, he had at least four of them. 

Not bad for a No. 8/9 hitter.  And if we can see at least some of that hitting talent with his steady glove (that brought comparisons to Brooks Robinson during the postseason), that's definitely worth the 668 percent raise.


Rollover DJ

I hit shock, skipped denial, went right on to anger, felt zero guilt, and now I'm somewhere between sadness and acceptance.

Yes, Chris Singleton is here to stay, but the Chicago Tribune got the headline right when it said "Sox settle for Singleton."  That I can't be happy about.

Not only is the hiring of Singleton a major downgrade in terms of experience when it comes to replacing John Rooney, but it's a continuation of the evaluation methods that were the root cause of the giant mistake the Sox made when picking a TV broadcaster to replace Tom Paciorek years ago.  When replacing a fan favorite, the Sox organization is loyal and they're cheap, opting for inexperienced nice guys over broadcasters with some gravitas.

I'd like to be as optimistic as my friend Vince at Exile in Wrigleyville is -- or at least as patient -- but there are just too many similarities to the Jackson situation to drive me nuts.  Let's break it down:

BEFORE THE TRANSITION

Television:  Ken Harrelson and Tom Paciorek were a popular broadcasting duo better known as Hawk and Wimpy.  They split the airtime evenly, and their personalities mixed well.  There was Harrelson, the big-talking Southerner, and Paciorek, the wiseass from Detroit.  Harrelson came up with the catch phrases, the nicknames, and the signature home-run call, whereas Paciorek provided solid analysis and the comic relief.

When Harrelson got carried away, Paciorek could needle him back to the game action.  When the game got out of hand, they both could tell stories and use their counterpart as the butt of jokes. 

Radio:  John Rooney had been in the Sox broadcast booth for 18 years, and partners with Ed Farmer for 15.  They sounded like best friends more than co-workers, finishing each other's sentences, play the straight man to the other's joker, trying together to remember an actor's name, and telling each other how they slept the previous night.  Rooney was the consummate play-by-play man, a voice for all seasons; Farmer, a cantankerous crank who you have to get to know before you can like him; then his bitter uncle ways are somewhat endearing.

They might've ridden the umps too much, but their comfort level provided one of the smoothest broadcasts in baseball -- USA Today rated them the best in the business last season -- and it was perfect for the long 174-game season.

THE REPLACEMENT

Television:  When Paciorek left, the Sox replaced him with Darrin Jackson, who had no broadcasting experience but played two seasons for the White Sox.  He was a journeyman outfielder with some power but little plate patience; he had the reputation of being a nice guy. 

Radio:  When Rooney left, the Sox replaced him with Chris Singleton, who had no broadcasting experience but played three seasons for the White Sox.  He was a journeyman outfielder with some power but little plate patience; he had the reputation of being a nice guy.

THE RESULT

Television:  Darrin Jackson was painful to watch, painful to listen to.  Still is, to a fairly significant degree.  He introduces himself and the ballgame with a glazed look during the pre-game comments, stumbles over words, puts together sentences that aren't sentences, preaches the obvious, expounds on the already wrong. 

It seems like he's been around long enough to where he now gets a free pass from those in a place to criticize him, but I don't see a lot of improvement.  He's a bit smoother, but not necessarily more interesting.  He still is all too eager to parrot Hawk's sentiments, and he hasn't shaken my suspicion that he's really the Hawk's ventriliquist dummy.  "I luuuuv e-mail too, Hawk.  This rookie pitcher is really a Cy Young candidate, Hawk."  The California native has even developed a southern twang, though that could be because he's trying too hard to be folksy.

Radio:  To be determined.

I'm highly skeptical of this arrangement because a lot of the same factors are in place.  Like Harrelson, Farmer is highly opinionated, pro-Sox to a fault (though he doesn't hesitate to criticize when they screw up), and will wander off on tangents of tangents.  And like Harrelson, Farmer had just been working with a partner who knew how to nullify his weakest qualities as a broadcaster, and will now be working with somebody unfamiliar with the way things work.

And while Farmer is leaps and bounds more tolerable by himself, the medium poses a bigger problem for fresh meat.  I've learned to tune out Hawk and DJ -- I can focus on the ballgame and draw my own conclusions without turning it on mute.  It helps that TV broadcasters don't have to talk.  They can let the pictures explain themselves when there's nothing more to say about it.

That's not the case with radio -- listeners have to hang on every word, especially when the unusual happens.  Broadcasters have to be talking so those tuning in won't think there are technical difficulties, and so they don't bore those who have been listening.  Dedicated listeners depend on these guys for three hours a day 162 times or more per year.

If a TV guy is new, he has the option of not talking.  He can take silence to uncomfortable levels, but it beats stuttering, stumbling and blathering 100 times out of 100.  Radio guys don't have that safety net, and
their services have a far greater impact than those of broadcasters on the tube (or plasma). 

I don't want Singleton to fail.  Even with the Extra Innings package on digital cable, I'm going to be listening to a number of games over Gameday Audio, and I'm going to cross my fingers that the experience is half as enjoyable as it was day in and day out last year. 

But I have a sinking feeling that Singleton will sink.  There's a lot riding on this -- a surge of new fans from the World Series flocking to a new flagship radio station means that Singleton will have to make a near-instantaneous impact, and I don't think that's going to happen.  It's too much, too soon for somebody who's too inexperienced even if Farmer tones down the Uncle Ed and colors within the lines.

In this case, I welcome Singleton to make me eat my words.

Singleton fails to encourage me

Okay, I just read the official story on the official Sox site, and I'm officially underwhelmed.  Lots of vague clichés, lots of pats on the back, and a little bit of third-person thrown in.

While it pains me to go all Fire Joe Morgan on this piece, I'm going to have to.  After all, this is the next five years we're talking about here.

In 2005, he batted .271 with the Devil Rays but was released in early July, the second time by the team. No team picked him up. It was time to move on.

"When I saw the handwriting on the wall last summer, I thought it was time for me to prepare for my next career," Singleton said.

That didn't take long.  Most people need four years of school and an internship for their next career.

"I don't have any experience as far as being in the booth during games," Singleton said. "I feel what I bring -- a style if you will, without being too presumptious -- is the way I played the game. I wasn't a guy who came out and hit home runs. I had to concentrate on fundamentals and know what I had to do."

What does this even mean?  Singleton wasn't the master at fundamentals -- he hacked too much and broke the wrong way on fly balls.  This is straight out of the Timo Perez Institute of Job Justification here.  If he's never done this before, how will he know what he has to do?

I've never snowboarded before, so this winter will mark my first time.  My style is going to be "trying not to breach my waterproof pants and ass padding."  Anything more would be -- you guessed it -- presumptuous.

Singleton's ability to do the little things will help him understand and relate to White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen. That's his style, too.

The only players who are praised for doing "the little things" are ones who generally suck.  When Jermaine Dye was below the Mendoza Line starting out last season, Kenny Williams and Hawk Harrelson said it was okay because he was doing "the little things."  When he started hitting, nobody mentioned "the little things."  Why?  Because almost every player does "the little things," and they're not worth lauding players for because there's only so much time during a broadcast.

Diminuitive ballplayers like David Eckstein are also commended for doing "the little things."  He can't help that.  Little people do little things.  But Singleton is 6'2".

"I'm looking to develop my own style," Singleton said.

But he said he already had a style!

"My personality and my understanding of the game and the way I perceive the game, I don't have to work too hard to be something I'm not."

Maybe that's why his big-league career only lasted six years.  Because he wasn't a great ballplayer, and he didn't try to be something he wasn't -- a better ballplayer.

What about the players? Will Singleton be able to criticize the White Sox if necessary?

"It's Chris Singleton who will be speaking to a larger audience," Singleton said.

Ooh, that's some tasty third-person.  If only this meant something to the 100 percent of the world that doesn't know him (I rounded up).

"The way I've lived life and the way I've looked at circumstances and situations, you have to be honest. You can find the good, you can find the positive. That's what I'll strive to do. I'll identify what's happened on a particular play."

I'm hoping "strive" was the wrong word choice, because it doesn't come off well when you say you strive to fulfill the minimum expectations of your job.

"Sure, I'm friends with some of the players and have been around the league recently," he said. "I think it will be an asset as far as getting information. I've also transitioned out of the game to where I'm not afraid of my peers. I think my peers are becoming a different group of people at this point. I'm comfortable with that."

I'm reminded of Ben Folds and "college friends getting younger every year."

"Ed Farmer, he was a great player and has made a great transition to broadcasting," Singleton said. "He tells the truth but he's done a great job of putting the right spin on it. Working with him, I'll learn a lot. I'll learn how to be as tactful as I can be."

Ed Farmer is as tactful as a wrecking ball -- which is fine if the other half of the team can play off that.  John Rooney generally did an excellent job of letting Farmer rant while keeping on top of the action, though sometimes he would join in on the ripping as well.  Sometimes the tag-team was warranted, sometimes it wasn't, and the latter times were the only occasions during which I wanted to turn the radio down with Rooney in the booth.

"I was one of the biggest White Sox fans this October [during the postseason]," he said. "There's always been a place in my heart for them."

I hope there's a place in his heart for White Sox fans as well, because those are the ones he's going to have to worry about.

Single your pleasure? Not likely

When John Rooney officially joined the Cardinals broadcasting booth, I wanted the organization to replace him with a professional, experienced voice that would help make the transition from Rooney, the only Sox play-by-play guy I’ve ever known, as smooth as possible.

They gave me Chris Singleton. 

Um…okay.

Before I get too angry, I'll be fair and apply the same evaluation method that I used for Tommy John when he was the frontrunner for the position.

What we know about Chris Singleton:

  1. He had a short career.  Only six years, only three of those with the Sox.  His rookie year was encouraging, the rest of his career a disappointment. He followed up a year in which he hit .300 with a season in which he posted a .301 OBP.  He was a decent baserunner, didn’t have much strike zone judgment, and never regained the power he displayed his rookie season.
  2. He brought us Willie Harris.  The Sox traded Singleton straight up for the second-base prospect, who became a valuable role player with the Sox.  It probably doesn't need to be said, but it's fun to say it anyway -- he scored the winning run in the clinching game of the World Series.
  3. He’s never broadcasted before.  Outstanding. 

What we can draw from that:

+
More on this later.

Sutter should've been later

Bruce Sutter was the winner of the "We Had To Elect Somebody" Sweepstakes, entering the Baseball Hall of Fame with 76.9 percent of the vote.

Once again, former White Sox Goose Gossage will have to wait despite putting up far better numbers over a longer career. 

And I don't think I'll ever understand it.

Sure, Sutter has the better ERA (2.83 to 3.01), but Gossage threw more than 800 more innings, rendering the difference moot.  He struck out hitters at a higher rate, pitched 10 more years, saved more games and threw more innings per save.

Yet somehow Sutter got in ahead of Gossage.  And ahead of Bert Blyleven who had 13 fewer wins than Gossage had saves.  That's a whole lot of credit voters are giving Sutter for being the first pitcher to have success with the splitter.

As far as the other White Sox are concerned, Tommy John earned 29.6 percent, showing no significant progress towards Cooperstown.  Albert Belle lives to see another ballot, earning 7.7 percent of the vote.  The same can't be said for Ozzie Guillen or Alex Fernandez who earned 1 and 0 percent of the vote, respectively.

This year's tragedy goes to Will Clark, who dropped off the ballot by only earning 4.4 percent of the vote.  Clark isn't a Hall of Famer because his career was too short, but he was a heckuva hitter, had a terrific batting eye, had great power, played solid defense, and was a menace in the postseason.  He absolutely destroyed the Cubs in 1989, and was the only Cardinal to pose any sort of threat to the Mets in 2000.

Meanwhile, Steve Garvey -- who had more hits, but a lower batting average, hit with less power, didn't walk as much, and fathered more illegitimate kids -- received just over a quarter of the vote.

Even if these guys aren't Hall of Famers, I think it's important for them to remain on the ballot because that's the kind of recognition they deserve -- year after year, they may come up short of the Hall, but seeing their names on the ballot brings back a lot of memories and brings up discussion regarding his place in history.  It's somewhat like a temporary Hall of Fame, which is appropriate for players who come up just short.

And Alan Trammell only garnered 17 percent.  Looks like we're going to need the Veterans' Committee to help him out.


WBC fails to answer "Y?"

Mark Buehrle and Tadahito Iguchi have taken themselves out of the World Baseball Classic, both stating that they’d rather use Spring Training to focus on their season with the Sox.

 As a fan of both the White Sox and international competition, I’m conflicted.  But then again, both Iguchi’s and Buehrle’s immediately loyalties are not to guys like me, but to their personal health/wealth and the organization for which they play.  Though I do like to think I’m third.

Using the time-tested decision aid known as pros and cons, let’s see how they arrived to this decision.

Pro:  Get to represent their native land in a competition against other countries.
Con:  The competition introduces major-league caliber play far earlier than usual, throwing off training regimens.

Pro:  Get to represent their native land in a competition against other countries.
Con:  By throwing more innings at the start of the season, it increases the chance of breaking down at some point later on.

Pro:  Get to represent their native land in a competition against other countries.
Con:  The extensive travel also hurts endurance some.

Pro:  Get to represent their native land in a competition against other countries.
Con:  No significant amount of money involved.

Pro:  Get to represent their native land in a competition against other countries.
Con:  Unlike a gold medal at the Olympics, this competition doesn’t have the cachet that would in any way add to a legacy.

Pro:  Get to represent their native land in a competition against other countries.
Con:  Who knows if the WBC will even get off the ground?

Pro:  Get to represent their native land in a competition against other countries.
Con:  They’re working with a training staff that doesn’t know them all too well.

Pro:  Get to represent their native land in a competition against other countries.
Con:  You got me there.

In all seriousness, that one “pro” would be enough for a large portion of Latin American players.  As Ozzie Guillen illustrated during the playoffs, national pride trumps team pride every way you slice it.

It’s not the same in America, where the best baseball players already play day-in and day-out, so there’s no need to prove one’s worth. 

I think the idea of injury risk is overblown myself – they’re still going to be throwing hard in Spring Training, and you still face the risk of somebody sliding into your knees or hitting a comebacker right into your face.  And let’s not forget that trainers thought Mark Buehrle broke his foot shagging flies last year.

But the perception of danger won’t be shed easily because there’s no way to soften baseball up -- unless you soften the actual baseball.  Hockey is a rough sport, but NHL players jump at the chance to play for their countries in the Olympics because it’s a safer game.  The wider ice gives them more space, and the game is virtually goon-free (except for Todd Bertuzzi, playing for Team Canada).  The only ones still at risk are the goalies, but they’re slightly crazy to begin with.

When the risks of the sport can’t be de-fanged at all, it’s problematic for any professional sport.  Now that the Dream Team has lost its stature, it’s tough to get the best of the best to play in games that aren’t on the NBA schedule.  And just ask Tiger Woods about the Ryder Cup.

It’s probably a good idea that Buehrle and Iguchi have decided to step down for this year.  Probably the best approach for MLB players is of the wait-and-see variety.  First, we’ll see if Bud Selig & Co. actually pull this off.  With the government continuing its decades-old grudge with Cuba, the WBC may not get off the ground.

If it is a success; if nobody gets hurt; if Americans feel a surge of national pride competing against other countries; if they’re able to handle a dozen more games during the year, then we may see players scramble over each other to play for their countries.  But there’s no harm in waiting, something Buehrle and Iguchi seemed to have realized.

For the time being, I’ll be glad to have the opportunity seeing them train with the rest of the Sox in Tucson.

Offseason bingeing keeps Sox in good shape

Last year, the Sox were a model of cost certainty as much as they were a model of sound team baseball.

Featuring a lineup with only one player entering unrestricted free agency, and with zero players being paid more than $9 million, Kenny Williams was able to construct a roster that featured a hell of a pitching staff complimented by a lineup with no major holes.

It finished the season with 99 wins and only need 12 games to win the final 11 in the playoffs.  

And all for $73.2 million, 13th highest in the league and second-lowest among the eight playoff teams.

Barring unforeseen spending by the clubs currently ahead of the Sox on that list, Chicago should end up solidly in the top 10 of baseball's biggest spenders.  It's been smart spending though, and entering the 2006 they'll have still kept their general shape.

Factoring in a rough estimation of Joe Crede's arb salary, they'll be around $93 million.  Call them a plus-sized model these days.

Only Paul Konerko will be paid more than $10 million by the Sox next year (Javier Vazquez and Jim Thome will be making double-digits as well, but they'll be partially paid by their old teams).  Only Jose Contreras and Scott Podesdnik are unrestricted free-agents after this year, and the team has already insurance for both of them (Brandon McCarthy and Jerry Owens, respectively).  Jermaine Dye may be the only one the Sox may struggle to replace, but unlike pitchers, most teams don't have to pay a premium for an average corner outfielder.

Hell, they aren't even paying a premium for above-average starting pitching.  They're paying around $40 million for six quality starters; none of them more than Vazquez's $9.25 million.  Here's a list of some of the pitchers who will earn more than that in 2006:

Mike Mussina ($14.75 million), Carl Pavano ($10), Curt Schilling ($12.75), A.J. Burnett ($11), Kevin Millwood ($12), Mike Hampton ($15 million), Kerry Wood ($10.83), Chan Ho Park ($13).  Of those pitchers, only two of them would make the Sox rotation as is, and they wouldn't be particularly big upgrades if they were an upgrade at all.

Overall, the Sox are paying $20 million more for this team than they did for the 2005 Sox.  Only Konerko had the Sox over a barrel, and that $4 million increase is the result of that.  Here's how they spent the other $16 million that was not due to arbitration increases and buyouts:

Jim Thome for Carl Everett.  The Sox will pay $8 million this year for Thome, after paying $4 million for Carl Everett last year.  The increase in production from this spot should easily be worth it.  If Thome's healthy, this is a steal.

Javier Vazquez for El Duque.  Last year, the Sox paid El Duque $4 million.  They're paying Vazquez $9.25 million.  They'll probably get twice as many innings in comparison to El Duque, twice as many strikeouts, half as many walks, and hopefully twice as many wins.  For just over twice the cost, that seems fair.

Rob Mackowiak for Timo Perez.  Mackowiak will be paid $2.63 million for this year, filling in for Timo Perez, who made $1 million.  I popped a bottle of champagne over this move, and I don't even like the bubbly.

I'm just as comfortable with the financial efficiency for those moves as I am paying six 15-game winners less than $7 million on average.  We're talking the-recliners-in-my-basement-type comfort right there.

Hall bound? Or gagged?

The new inductees to the Baseball Hall of Fame will be announced on Jan. 10 – if there are any.

There are a lot of interesting names on the ballot, but none that stick out as clear-cut Hall of Famers, at least in the eyes of those holding the votes. Since I don’t own one – and it’s a damned shame that I don’t – I think it’s more interesting to take a trip down memory lane and look at those on the ballot with Sox ties.

In alphabetical order (links courtesy of Baseball-Reference.com's awesome automatic linking tool):

Albert Belle: I discussed his White Sox career in an earlier post, but it’s an interesting case. If he were a media favorite, he’d most likely be in. But that wasn’t the case, so he’ll most likely be stonewalled. Not that he deserves to be in – he’s a member of the Hall of the Very Good, along with his moody slugging predecessor, Richie Allen.

Goose Gossage: He began his career as a White Sox, had a dominant 1975 season as a reliever before being converted into a starter, where he was below-average. Then Bill Veeck dealt him to Pittsburgh with Terry Forster for the best season of Richie Zisk’s life and Silvio Martinez. That season under Chuck Tanner was the last time he would ever start a game.

It’s hard to say why Tanner started him, but it’s easy to understand why Veeck dealt him – Veeck was running out of money, and he couldn’t retain Gossage. Zisk was the centerpiece of the memorable 1977 South Side Hit Men; Gossage only pitched one year in Pittsburgh before going off to New York and starting his HOF resume.

Gossage should deserve to make it, but he likely won’t be inducted this year. I’m guessing his telling the New York Post, “God couldn't get out of some of the situations that I was brought into” didn’t win any points with Him or the HOF voters (who often confuse themselves with Him when it comes to voting), since it kinda insults both of them.

Ozzie Guillen: A terrible offensive player who gave away at-bats like college activists give away fliers, at least Guillen was a Gold Glove defender before a knee injury in 1992 permanently limited his range. He was an outgoing, flashy player, but not particularly heady – he was caught by the hidden ball trick twice in the 1989 season, and you can see them both on the World Series DVD. Because of this, I was scared crapless when Ozzie became manager of the Sox and said his team would play the game his way.

He won’t make the HOF as a player. As a manager down the road, who knows? He’ll only be 42 years old this season (his birthday is January 20), and he already has one World Series title under his belt. Sure, lots of bad managers have won championships, but Ozzie isn’t a bad manager. In fact, he was the best in the league last year, and won the Manager of the Year trophy accordingly. Time will tell if he’ll keep up the good work, but the early returns are encouraging. He may rack up a gaudy win total by the time he’s done, and a couple more rings aren’t out of the question as well.

Tommy John: The possible new radio man for the Sox pitched on the South Side early in his career before he became famous for Tommy John surgery. John was a .500 starter, though more because of the teams he was on than his actual ability. He never had a below-average ERA with the Pale Hose, and once posted a 1.98 ERA over 25 starts in 1968, though that was also the same year Bob Gibson posted a 1.12 mark and Denny McLain won 31 games, so there you go.

As was the case with Gossage, the Sox traded a possibly HOF-caliber pitcher for a hitter who provided immediate results. He was dealt to the Los Angeles Dodgers for Dick Allen, who promptly won an MVP for the White Sox in 1972 . John performed well with the Dodgers for two years before having his elbow worked on by Dr. Frank Jobe. After taking the 1975 season off, he worked his way back into the league in 1976 and then averaged 20 wins a season from 1977-1980.

John has his work cut out for him if he’s going to make it to the HOF; I’m more concerned about whether he can be a decent broadcaster.

Alex Fernandez: A fine pitcher with the White Sox, but I remember him being better than his numbers indicate. He finished in the top five in ERA twice, including a stellar 1993 when he went 18-9 and posted a 3.13 ERA. He was the victim of bad luck and bad defense in the 1993 ALCS, losing both his starts against Toronto despite only surrendering three earned runs in 15 innings.

Fernandez left the White Sox for the Florida Marlins via free agency – the Fish signed him to a five-year, $35 million deal. It was money well not spent for the White Sox – Fernandez had one good season, two injury-shortened seasons, and missed the other two completely. He’ll be one-and-done on the HOF ballot, much like 1993 teammate Jack McDowell was last year.

Minnie Minoso will be on the special Negro League voting session that will commence in late February, so he may be the White Sox’s best chance of having one of their players enter the Hall in 2006. It’s a strange case for Minoso, who might’ve been as young as 24 when he entered the major leagues, thus rendering his Negro League experience to be generally equivalent to time spent in the minors. An argument could be made for his entry into the Hall of Fame, and it’s hard to find a nicer guy in the sport, so any way he can get into Cooperstown will work.



Aside: In 2002, Ozzie Smith entered the Hall of Fame on his first try, garnering nearly 92 percent of the votes. Meanwhile, in his first shot at the Hall of Fame, fellow shortstop Alan Trammell garnered only 16 percent of the vote.

What gives?

Sure, Smith won 13 Gold Gloves and made 15 All-Star teams, but he generally had no competition in the National League as far as shortstops were concerned. For crying out loud, Smith won a Silver Slugger award in 1987, a year in which he hit zero homers. Zero!

Trammell won four Gold Gloves himself and was generally an excellent defender – but he was vying for the same awards as Cal Ripken Jr. and Robin Yount. He also had a fair amount of speed, stealing as many as 30 bases in a season, and had far more power, hitting 185 homers to Smith’s 28. He posted a higher career batting average, on-base percentage and slugging percentage in comparison to Smith. Trammell even played in Detroit for his entire 20-year career, something HOF voters usually eat right up.

If you had to pick one to have on your team for 10 years, which one would you pick? I’d pick Trammell easily, but even if your mileage varies, the fact that there’s even an argument to be made should indicate that a 75-percent difference in votes is ridiculous.

Maybe HOF voters have something against Detroit Tigers from the 1980s. Sweet Lou Whitaker didn’t make it to a second ballot after earning only 2.91 percent of the vote in 2001. Yet he posted nearly identical career numbers to Ryne Sandberg, who made the Hall of Fame on his third try. It makes no sense whatsoever.

Perhaps if Trammell had more managerial success, he would be receiving a harder look from HOF voters. Had Trammell won a World Series before becoming eligible for the Hall like another Ozzie already mentioned in this column, he could very well have double the votes he earned last year. But piloting the Tigers to a near-record 119 losses – not that it was his fault – probably hurt his case far more than it should have.

Happy new year

New Year’s resolutions – usually a tacky subject for a column, and usually what a columnist will crap out during a holiday break.

Not to say I'm above that.  I'd love to have an easy subject for an entry.  The problem is, it would be wrong of me to ask any more of the White Sox for 2006 after what they gave us all in 2005.

So instead of asking for more, I'm merely going to suggest things they can do in 2006 to improve both their self-worth and financial worth. 

Let's pretend there's a difference.

Brian Anderson:  Don’t tank.  Easily the lowest standards of any White Sox.

Jeff Bajenaru:  Make the most of this chance, because at age 28, it might be the last.  Two lights-out years in the minors should translate into some success at the major-league level.

Joe Borchard:  Nobody’s expecting anything out of you now, but I’d like to see one more 500-foot homer before your time is up.

Mark Buehrle:  Your outspokenness would be a lot more endearing if you could pitch over mistakes.  Blinking lights in center field and cheating Cubs doesn’t cut it when you’re giving up 17 unearned runs a season.

Jose Contreras:  Make sure the pitcher that showed up in the second half sticks around.

Neal Cotts:  Now that you’ve officially taken over Damaso Marte’s role, don’t take over his personality as well.

Joe Crede:  If you can play that way in October, you can play that way in April-September.

Jermaine Dye:  Remember that it’s your contract year.  You made $30.5 million the last time around.

Freddy Garcia:  Pretend the first inning is the second.

Jon Garland:  You still have doubters.  You’ll need one more year like 2005 to get rid of them.

Ross Gload:  Stay out of Ozzie’s doghouse.  Don’t do whatever you did to get in it.  Sorry I have to be so vague.

Dustin Hermanson:  For chrissakes, fix your back!

Tadahito Iguchi:  You’re getting your wish by hitting lower in the order.  Now swing like you mean it.

Bobby Jenks:  For chrissakes, stay on the wagon!

Paul Konerko:  Don’t get too comfortable.  Yes, I know you’re making $60 million over the next five years, but indulge me.

Rob Mackowiak:  You have to outperform Geoff Blum and Timo Perez – I take back what I said about Anderson.  Mackowiak obviously has the lower standards.

Artie Munoz:  You gave up 11 runs in your major-league debut in 2004.  I bet you can go two months without giving up 10 as the second lefty in the bullpen.  Prove me right.

Brandon McCarthy:  Locate that change-up, and you’re gonna go places, kid.

A.J. Pierzynski:  Both batting averages and caught-stealing percentages have been dropping the past two seasons.  You can’t count on dropped third strikes every time.

Scott Podsednik:  Try to have a slugging percentage higher than your on-base percentage. 

Cliff Politte:  You’re answering the same questions Jon Garland is, albeit on a smaller (and cheaper) scale.  Don’t change a thing.

Jim Thome:  By all means, fill Frank Thomas’ shoes.  Just don’t use his old ankles.

Juan Uribe:  Bribe the media so you can finally get that Gold Glove you deserve.

Javier Vazquez:  No longer in New York and no longer supported by a terrible defense, your biggest problems are behind you.

Chris Widger:  Gunning down one of 10 runners would be an improvement.