In spite of himself,
Clayton Richard will get the start against the Seattle Mariners tonight.
I really called that one, huh? At least he gets a creampuff assignment in Felix Hernandez, a.k.a. the only Seattle starter worth his considerable weight, so enjoy that one-game lead while you can, kids.
Richard will work largely without a net, as D.J. Carrasco threw 1 1/3 innings against Seattle Monday night, and has worked in three of the last four games. Horacio Ramirez will be available for a couple of bailout innings, but otherwise, it'll be up to Richard to see if he can finish the fifth inning for once.
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During Monday's game, Alexei Ramirez came to the plate with the bases loaded after Nick Swisher's RBI single. Seattle catcher Jeff Clement walked to the mound to confer with Miguel Batista, and here's my guess at the conversation:
Clement: Hey, who sings that song... "Anyone can see the road, dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah ... whenever you're lonely, when you're something something."
Batista: Oh, I remember that. Um. Hm.
Clement: I think it began with an "F." It's been in my head all day.
Batista: Five for Fighting?
Clement: Maybe. No, they sang ballady stuff. "Superman."
Batista: I thought that was Three Doors Down.
Clement: No, that was "Kryptonite."
Batista: Ah. Right.
Clement: But Five For Fighting ... close. It was a sports name.
Umpire: OK, guys, let's get back to work.
Clement: I'll figure it out. (jogs back to plate)
Batista: (yelling to Clement) So what am I supposed to throw?
Clement: (stops halfway) Oh! Fastball!
I can't think of another legitimate excuse for how two professional baseball players armed with scouting reports came together to discuss what to throw Ramirez -- who swings at any first pitch that vaguely resembles a heater vaguely resembling a strike -- and concluded that a fastball in the zone would be the ideal way to start.
Ramirez, of course, shot a single right through Batista's wickets for a run. And then with Uribe at the plate next, Batista starts him off with a curve that misses just low -- something Ramirez would've swung over or chopped foul nine out of 10 times.
What's even harder to explain is the next time Ramirez came to the plate in the seventh inning, he had two on and one out, and the Mariners still in the game at 9-5. And guess what Jake Woods throws him?
A first-pitch fastball! And Ramirez socks it into the left-field seats to blow open the ballgame.
Granted, Ramirez's progress has been nothing short of remarkable. He's hit safely in 12 of his last 13 games, and he's jacked his slugging percentage up to .484 with three homers in his last five games,
which is roughly is 67th-percentile PECOTA projection.
On the other hand, I can't help but think that teams have to smarten up at some point. He's arguably the most predictable hitter in the league, and even if he's improved at fending off pitches he doesn't like (he has), you gotta think teams will stop playing to his strengths so damn directly.
Joe Sheehan made a pretty fair comparison in a chat Monday:
AMan (IN): Is this the real Alexei Ramirez?
Joe Sheehan: Probably. He has tools and absolutely no idea what he's doing with them. He reminds me of Shawon Dunston, or the infield version of Jeff Francaeiour. There's almost no way to be a star walking twice a month.
That sounds about right, though in Ramirez's defense, he was thrown into the deep end, and even if his game resembles kicking and flailing, he's done an incredible job staying afloat. Dunston was groomed in the minor leagues, spending a full season in rookie ball, A-ball, and Triple-A before sticking with the Cubs. The results are the same, but Ramirez gets points for a much tougher jump.
That said, I'm still bracing for a fall to Earth. I'm just not entirely sure it'll happen by the end of this season. He would help matters by shoring up his defense, which has been spotty at best lately. It was hard to tell who was to blame for Ramirez catching Mark Buehrle's attempt to start a double play 10 feet behind second base, but it wouldn't be the first positioning error he's made either way.
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He doesn't own the title for the most unfortunate season
(Jerry Owens), or the most frustrating (Jose Contreras), but Joe Crede
definitely has the roller-coaster act down.
The Sox tried
trading him during the spring but found no takers due to an abysmal bat
and surprisingly iffy throwing arm. Then the regular season comes, and
the guy hits like mad, even though he still struggles with routine
plays. And then his back flares up. And then he stops hitting. And
then he makes the All-Star team. And then he can't play. And then he
can't even rehab.
Had he performed up to his usual defensive
standards, he would've summed up his entire career over the course of
three months. Instead, Juan Uribe is the one with the Gold Glove,
rendering Crede an afterthought in the process:
"[Crede] wouldn't play," said manager Ozzie Guillen, who has
marveled at Uribe's stellar defense and timely offense. "I'm not going
to play Joe just because he's Joe Crede. I'm going to play the guys out
there that do their jobs. And I think Uribe's doing a tremendous job
right now playing third base and at the plate. Joe's got to go to the
minor leagues and give me good at-bats."
Hell, Uribe has even walked three times in the last two games. A burst of plate patience isn't unprecedented for him, as
he walked in three straight games in April last season before sinking into his season-long slumber, but Ozzie's right to ride him for as long as he can.
Meanwhile,
it's going to be a lot of fun to see how Crede and Scott Boras handle
his impending free agency. Crede's not going to have a lot of leverage
if he can't reclaim a starting spot away from friggin' Uribe, recent
hot streak or not.
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Toby Hall almost hurt himself in an unsuccessful attempt to smash a shaving-cream pie into Jermaine Dye's face in the post-game interview with Comcast Sports Network. Hall was seen showing discomfort with his right shoulder, but said he was fine:
Hall had his right shoulder wrapped in ice but assured
reporters he didn't not re-injure his shoulder, which he separated in
spring training of 2007.
I'm trying to think of a dumber injury that could occur within the realm of dugout hijinx and I'm failing miserably. I mean, other things could capture the "senseless injury" part -- broken hip doing the bump, torn wrist ligament during an elaborate handshake, choking on a sunflower seed -- but the whole pie aspect brings a vaudeville factor that nothing else can really touch.
That is, unless Ozzie pulls pitchers with a gigantic novelty hook instead of making visits to the mound. Of course, now I've added onto my list of things I desperately want to see but never will, and this whole saga just bolsters my theory that clowns only lead to dark places.
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Minor league roundup:
- Norfolk 8, Charlotte 7
- Wes Whisler was roughed up for six runs over three innings.
- Mike MacDougal pitched his third straight scoreless outing, striking out two.
- Jerry Owens and Dave Cook each had two hits and an RBI; Owens walked once.
- Josh Fields went 1-for-4 with an RBI and a walk.
- Huntsville 2, Birmingham 0
- Kyle McCulloch allowed two runs on seven hits over six innings, walking one and K'ing two.
- Miguel Negron went 1-for-3 with a walk, but was caught stealing for the 15th time.
- Kanekoa Teixeira threw two scoreless innings.
- Salem 6, Winston-Salem 3
- John Ely allowed three runs on five hits over six innings, including a two-run homer.
- John Shelby went 2-for-4 with a double and an RBI.
- Fernando Hernandez hit a solo homer.
- Hickory 3, Kannapolis 2
- Johnnie Lowe allowed three runs (one earned) over seven innings.
- Jorge Castillo and Mark Fleisher each drove in a run.
- Gordon Beckham did not play.
- Danville 7, Bristol 3
- Kevin Dubler doubled and drove in all three runs.
- Jordan Kendall, John Kateon and Kenneth Gilbert each had two hits.
- Justin Kuehn threw four scoreless innings in relief of Garrett Johnson, who gave up seven runs in two innings.
- Great Falls 7, Casper 3
- Johny Celis went 1-for-3 with a homer, two RBI and two walks.
- Nicholas Damas went 2-for-5 with a homer and two RBI.
- Cody Allen struck out six over six innings, allowing two runs.